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About 15 years ago I got this book from a friend who had it in her bookshelf without having read it and without really being interested in it, and when I asked her for it, she willingly let go of it. I knew I wouldn't read it immediately, but hopefully some time later. That time had come a a few weeks ago.
This book ("How to deal with People") is a classic, but not even in Mark Twain's sense that everyone wants to have read it -- most people don't even know who Knigge is or what this book is. "Knigge" is something like a household word in Germany, meaning that a "Knigge" is any book containing instructions about decency and particularly manners. The real Knigge is quite different.
Knigge wrote this book in the late 18th century, and most of its contents are, in my estimation, much ahead of its time. He does make some statements of manners, true. But his point is not formalities, as it is often assumed. He emphasizes the foundation of all of it, which is "treat others like you want to be treated yourself".
He develops this his theses to quite some detail, but the main points can be summarized as: Be kind, modest, decent. Don't embarrass yourself and, mainly, not others. Be tactful. Be self-confident, but not to the expense of your company. Make others welcome, but don't encourage their bad habits. Be honest. Be trustworthy, but know whom to trust yourself. In general, be someone people like to deal with, but keep your own integrity.
He develops all this to quite some level of detail, and it is not an entertaining book from today's point of view. I read only about half of it until now; I put it aside to read "A Breath of Snow and Ashes" by Diana Gabaldon, but I hope I'll get back to it some time.
This book ("How to deal with People") is a classic, but not even in Mark Twain's sense that everyone wants to have read it -- most people don't even know who Knigge is or what this book is. "Knigge" is something like a household word in Germany, meaning that a "Knigge" is any book containing instructions about decency and particularly manners. The real Knigge is quite different.
Knigge wrote this book in the late 18th century, and most of its contents are, in my estimation, much ahead of its time. He does make some statements of manners, true. But his point is not formalities, as it is often assumed. He emphasizes the foundation of all of it, which is "treat others like you want to be treated yourself".
He develops this his theses to quite some detail, but the main points can be summarized as: Be kind, modest, decent. Don't embarrass yourself and, mainly, not others. Be tactful. Be self-confident, but not to the expense of your company. Make others welcome, but don't encourage their bad habits. Be honest. Be trustworthy, but know whom to trust yourself. In general, be someone people like to deal with, but keep your own integrity.
He develops all this to quite some level of detail, and it is not an entertaining book from today's point of view. I read only about half of it until now; I put it aside to read "A Breath of Snow and Ashes" by Diana Gabaldon, but I hope I'll get back to it some time.